A new Leaf

There is only 2 and half days left untill 2011.

I started over new.

I made up with my mom and i am gettin to know my step father better. it turns out he is a really cool guy. Tho i only have 1 mother and 1 father, it is pretty cool to have back up parents. there is alot of things i can learn from him when it comes to technology.

I kmoe that you are not suppose to have a favorite and that's ok but when it comes to being at ma moms house i have realize that i am more calmer around ma mom, even tho i may not like her at times, there is always something i can find that she is more cooler.

Being at ma moms house i have the opportunity to do things i cant at ma dads. Its sad to say but at ma dads i feel like there are rules that a person at my age should not have to follow. it feels to much like a house that is made for a child with a curfew and rules.( like time limit on computer and video games or be in bed at a certain time) i feel like i have more freedom at ma moms.

you never realize how much you need someone till u dont have them in your life and that could be for a few mins or a a few months. it just aint the same when they are not there.

now on to my love life......................

i may say all the time i dont want a boyfriend or a relationship and i have my reason for that.

The person i have fell in love with was always out of reach, that is until now.

I am going to take every chance i can get to make this work the right way, some have said that he is not what i want him to be but they just dont understand what is going on.

being with a man that has a child is not always easy and i understand that. but when you love someone yu find ways to make it work.

I am now 22 years old and i am not getting any younger. i am going to start over new and do what i have to do for me.

A NEW YEAR A NEW MEE amd alot of ppl say that and dont act on it. well me i am deffinettly going to acct on it.




so until next time

Happy new year everyone

The end is near

OK so its been w really long time since i have been on here, i know shame on me.

But hey a gurl has to do what she has to do to survive on the streets lol.

so the semester is almost over like dead ass onli a week to go. it was a pretty easy half of the year, sort of looking forward towards the spring. so many different and hard classes to take.
-Pre Cal
-Phsyc
-Eng Comp 2
-Speach
-Bio

so yea thats what i got in the spring.

Stuff that got me sad
-JOvie is moving to PR :( but hey look at it this way i got some where to go for spring break. :)
-I am gonna be 22 in two weeks time so flys so quick
-I miss my lil man so much :*(

when they say what ever dont kill you makes you stronger, they are so right because so many things come into your life to try and stop you from getting to where you wanna go and its up to you if its gonna stop you or not.

wellll i am gonna make a promiss that i am gonna write more on here so you guys knoes whats up

tata for now

Summer so far

Ok so i know its been a while since i have been on but let me tell you summer is going good so far.

I got a job in a law firm thru the summer youth and OMG its great. My bosses are very nice and both are females. One is a entertainment lawyer and the other one is real estate. Its a small cozy office nothing to big.

I got accepted into City Tech, so happy about that and then Manika aka ma bestie is having me join a sorority. So with that i am going to be a Gamma Nu Delta.

Other then that my twin was down here for a while so that made me happy. Boys i am not really worring about them right now because this is the summer time to have fun and no worries.

With this job i hope to get some more experience and a good letter of reference or a letter of recommendation. I try to get as much out of certain things as possible because you don't know how they may affect you when you are older.

tilll later

<3 ya

Lets play catch up

Ok so i have not been on for a while so that means its time for an update.

Him and her aint together i think she found some one else thank god. But any way was out all weekend with Amy, Cj, Millz, Da, Danny, H.O, Bizzy and who ever else. Let me tell you i have not thought about the things i usually think about nothing was on my mind

I went to C.I wit Amy and her mom's and i came back with a burn not a tan a burn that shyt sucks. But its going a way now so that means i am back to my self the troublemaker that i am.

Ma baby is comin home next weekend cause he is gonna have money. BUt hey idc about him having money cause thats ma baby.

its about 7:30 am right now no one is up but me sio yea type bored


be back later

life sucks

She claims that i have her left overs and that all i do is taste her. 1 she steals ma words and 2 he is not in love with you any more.

I hate when females hold on to something that aint theirs no more and cause so much drama for the next. like seriously get over it. he must not want you no more so that y he moved on to the next one.

Situatiions are complicated at this time. I can't see him till god knows when and it pisses me off becasue she still calls him baby and shyt like that. you have his baby but he aint your babe.

Females what we gonna do with them

ON the other hand my sisters and i mean all of them are coming down this weekend what a fun thing that is gonna be.

day went pretty good spent all day playing catch up with Law & Order: SVU and the Bad Girls Club.

Still waiting for this dam thing to come so it can ease my mind but then again i still have other things to worry about.

I think she is stalking me thru cyber space

can that be a crime

Decissions

LAst night was so much fun, i need it so bad. to be away from it all was great.

But still so many decissions i have to make. so many things i still need to find out. Things to straighting out.

I am so set on my future i know whats gonna be in it and whats not. I wanna be all that i can and i live to accomplish that. I found the man of my dreams and i want it to be like for ever.

I wake up every morning thinking of what i must do to make it right. what has to be added and what has to be deleted. its a long process but hey it has to get done

Ok so i have not been up to date with this ish but yea life is getting crazier and crazier. Sometimes it getts to hard to handle and i just wanna say F it. But you really can't. What would the world be like if everyone just gave up on life.

Well for now I am glad i have ma bestie there to help me through it all. some times he can be a big help but others it could be him thats the problem. I guess its just hard to deal with what i have to deal with.

So anyway around late june- mid july i should be receiving my acceptance letter to school. can't wait for that to come. But hopefully I will be working in the summer.

A good friend of mind is coming back to NY. He was living in Atlanta for the past year and I guess he could not take it no more. so he will be returning by next week.

Well i have to get ready busy day today

TTYL

Pain

With all the stuff that goes on i am glad i have you to talk to. I think i might have been sedated or commited by now. to here your voice and t ell me its all gonna be ok, i know i can trust you. But with you being so many miles away, i can only here your voice and know that i can try and relax.

what i would give to see you face again to laugh with you, just to do the stupid thing we use to do up there. But hey soon i will, i know you come home every other week. maybe one week you can spend it with me and it can be like old times.

you truly are a angle sent down from haven to watch over me. between you and my bestie i know i can make it on this earth. Struggles come and go but what we have can last forever.

the things i tell you and the secrets we share can only effect us so much. this life can damage the future but in the same breath open new doors. She can feel your pain and understand your life, but in order to be with you she has to experience the same feelings. What can we do about this life that we share.

Damaged or not i will always love you no matter who you are with or where you will be.

I am in pain and your the only one that can see it. Not gonna care no more who i hurt or who has to say what. I live for me and your love

There is just somethings a person can't and wont understand

WEEKEND PLANS

Ok so the weekend is almost here and i am gonna spend it with ma baby. But on some real shit i can't wait for the summer to get here, so i can start working. Being home is killing me, I hate being idle. I have to keep busy.

Summer youth in the summer and college in the fall. There is alot that goes on between then and now. Fighting for whats mine and whats loved.

I know some of the things i may do is wrong but this time I am not.

I worked so hard to get where i am at today. No has really marked the way for me. I am a very independent person and I do not like to be helped out in any kind of way.

well till later

HAppy Mother's DAy

Happy mother's day to all the mommy's out there.

Well lets see this weekend was a bust, i aint get to see my baby because some shyt went down. And then my brother still has that stick up his ass and acts like an ass i swear if there was a way i could shut him up i would.

Besides him and my mother running out all the time well mostly him. It gets annoying and i get mad but some home PA knows how to calm me down. He be like don't worry i will be down there to make it all go away and yoour not gonna have to deal with it no more.

I can't wait for that day, when i am really stress free from this place. Sometime i feel like i don't belong here at all. like i am an outsider trying to fit in. All the stress kills me and makes me do things i don't wanna do.

I guess the only reason why i stick around is for my lil man, how could you stand being in a house with people like this. i feel so bad for him you have no idea.

Well its back to the count down till ma baby comes home

5 days

BK heads up

CrazyNight

Ok so yesterday was the cuzzo Haze's Bday, so us girls and some of the boys got done right. We was blazed up and ten times tipsy.

Shyt we always go hard for bdays. Today mommy goes to doctor so home wit the lil man all day.

The weekend is almost here which means i can see him OMG i miss him so much. that ma pa

I think i am gonna finally clean my room today idk maybe it aint final gonna do another video tomorrow cause the beotched that i left some people out. so to make them happy i am gonna do another one.

Its still early so i am gonna try and write again later to say whats up

Bk out bitchs

She got nerve

Ok let me tell you about my night. I was on the phone wit ma babe and i decided to text C but his girl has his phone and she was like dis his girl stop texting him. I was like ewwww she got nerve she decided to get rude so i had to let her knoe that her man fucked me yes and i dont care. i sent her a pic of him naked to show her that ya man is the one u need to watch not me. She only 17 so she need to check how she fuckin wit. then she had the nerve to call me like are you serious.

So any way i could not sleep at all last night but the babe he slept really good fell asleep on me twice. but i finally fell asleep at 6 am after he fell asleep on me the second time and yet i am up now writing this. SLEEP IS NOT MY FRIEND

YES only 4 days till he comes home again, i cant wait.

Yesterday he told me this drama aint nada compared to whats gonna happen and i am like idc bring it

later 4 now

Rude wake up

I get woken up by my mother because she says "you don't need to sleep any more" and then my ass whole of a brother that i have starts in with the baby and i hate that shyt. I miss my baby more and more everyday. Hopefully he will be home this weekend and i can forget what life is for that day. I swear life sucks in this house when everybody is around.

Well i mail off my G.E.D to my college so i can finally go and get my classes and i can always be out this house. I hate to be sitting here and doing nothing it kills me.

be back later to explain the rest of the day

Day 1

Hey everyone this is my first day blogging and i am gonna start off by telling you about me.

I am 21 years old and a college student. I am 1 of 6 kids yea thats alot. I have an amazing boyfriend. I love to read books so some stuff will be about books others will be random but mostly about me.

I just recently graduated JOB CORPS and i have to say it was hell. OMG the drama that goes on in there is crazy: girls fighting girls over a boy is crazy. I mean you can meet some good people up there and some are friends for a life time. There is this one girl J, she is so down to earth and always has a smile but believe me she is there when you are down or stuff like that. Then there is E he is the type to just make you laugh out of no where.

more about me well lets see i am 5'5 and i have like 3 different colors in my hair, btw my sister is a beautician. So yea she hoooks me up. I am not the party type but like to go out with friends and drink here and there. I mean what more else can i say but i can leave you my aim it is Bkzlovinbi18 always looking for friends

I will get at ya later

bk bitchs